no 4

I can't be the only one who gets anxious from thinking about situations in my head like they won't ever happen but even just thinking about them makes breathing just that little bit harder like there is something sitting on your chest.  Sometimes it feels like i have 2 different people inside my head one is like what's the worst that could happen sure just try and the other is like no here is a million different things that could happen that could hurt you or someone else so don't even try there is no point or when i was staring at a candle on was like put your hand in it let it burn you you won't even feel it what does it matter nobody cares about you just do it and say it was an accident and then the other part was like what the fuck are you insane don't do that you'll reget it later so yea im just sitting there like what fo i do why am i so scared i wish i just had somebody to even talk to about this but nobody ever wants to admit they aren't ok but we will make jokes about it cause that's how we handle everything and i hate going to therapists i always feel like they are trying to trick me or something and don't trust them at all